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Strategy/Tactics

Below are selected questions sent by readers on 'Strategy/Tactics' which we have answered. Further information can be found on our main website, www.family-laws.co.il, by running a search using keywords.

Can I prevent my husband having the rabbinical court dealing with our case, and get a civil court to deal with proceedings between us concerning child custody, their maintenance and our property? Though my husband and I were married according to Jewish law, in Israel,my mother's conversion to Judaism took place overseas,before my parents made "Aliyah", and was actually 'faked'.They married in a Jewish Reform ceremony abroad. My mother was buried in a Christian cemetery abroad,having left Israel when my parents divorced.I made 'Aliyah' independently, as an adult, having been raised by my Christian grandmother abroad.

Yes, in principle ! The rabbinical court only has jurisdiction to deal with the divorce,and issues which can be 'tied' into it, such as custody,maintenance and property, where the parties as both Jews. Thus, if you can prove that your mother's conversion to Judaism was not genuine, and that she remained Christian, and, therefore, that you were born Christian, and never converted, then you can dispute its jurisdiction if your husband brings proceedings at the rabbinical court. Furthermore, your "marriage" may be void from the beginning, anyhow! You would be advised to seek individual professional advice, from a family law specialist, given the particular circumstances of your case. These need to be examined fully, so that  you can receive advice regarding strategy and tactics, when the full picture is available,and a detailed analysis can be made.

In any case, you are free to file for custody, maintenance and division of your property at the family court ,and would be recommended to do so as soon as possible, before your "husband" brings proceedings at the rabbinical court. Even when both parties are genuinely Jewish, it is usually preferable for the wife to aim to file for these before the husband brings proceedings at the rabbinical court.
How should I act if I want to divorce my wife, who is against this,and has told me she will fight me tooth and nail at the Rabbinate, and want to pay as little maintenance as possible until I am finally free of our marriage?

Act almost immediately, and file for divorce at the rabbinical court, tying in her maintenance to  your plea. Usually the rabbinical court awards lower sums of maintenance for women than the family court.

How should I act if I don't really want to divorce my wife, though the marriage is on the rocks, but want to block her from filing me for maintenance at the family court?

File quickly for divorce at the rabbinical court, and tie in the issue of her maintenance. This will win the jurisdictional race between the rabbinical court and the family court over her maintenance, and prevent her from filing you for financial support at the family court.

How should a man react to a totally false complaint of domestic violence to the police made by my wife,who has even applied to the family court for a protection order to keep me out of the home?

If he is called in for questioning by the police, he should go, tell the truth but vehemently deny any violence, and even offer to take a polygraph. If proceedings are opened against him in court for a protection order, he should file a response affidavit, and appear at any hearing set, and try and disprove any claims made by his wife about his alleged violence.

How should I act if I want to save my marriage, yet my husband has filed for divorce at the rabbinical court?

You should file a formal 'Shom Bayit' (marital reconciliation)plea at the rabbinical court, and also file a written defence to your husband's plea and try to prove that he has no grounds to end your marriage under Jewish law. Unless your husband can prove one of the required grounds under Jewish law, the rabbinical court can throw out his divorce plea, unless you consent to divorce.

A plea for 'Shlom Bayit' is actually toothless, even if successful - the idea is that an appeal is made to the moral authority of the rabbinical court, to put pressure on the husband to return home or work on the marriage, but even if a ''Shlom Bayit' ruling is made in your favour, it cannot be enforced. One of the aims of filing for 'Shlom Bayit' is that it buys time to mend the marriage.

Is there any advantage in me initiating proceedings at the family court, before my husband goes to the rabbinical court?

Definitely - regarding maintenance for a wife or children, and/or child custody and/or division of marital partnership in property, including the home, proceedings are usually more efficient, quicker and cheaper if dealt with at the family court, and not at the rabbinical court, although they can be heard there , if tied to a divorce plea filed there first. All these issues, except the actual divorce between Jews, can be dealt with at the family court, as the rabbinical court has exclusive jurisdiction over the actual divorce (or 'get'), irrespective of where the two Jewish parties married in the world, and irrespective of in whatever ceremony they did so.

If, however, the husband files at the rabbinical court first, then he will block the tactical advantage that the wife could gain by acting first.