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Can I get my husband ordered out of our home during divorce proceedings, after he refused my request to do so, to make things calmer for me and the children, though he is not actually physically violent?

Not unless he is physically or verbally violent. An order banning the husband from the family  home will only be granted by a court if he is physically or verbally violent to you or the children, or their is a real risk or fear of violence on his part towards a member of the family. You cannot just force a separation between you and your husband, for your convenience,or to make life simpler, when there is no legal justification.